Brushes & Budgets

Hopefully no one goes quiet on me for today’s topic.  It’s another rough one but has to be discussed. Instead of avoiding big subjects we might as well meet them head on since we’re nearing the end of Financial Literacy Month.  Grab your snack, preferably a Snickers if you like to eat your feelings, a Coca-Cola to wash down your sorrows, and we’ll get started.  By the way…I’m sorry in advance… 

So!  Let’s talk about financial avoidance.  This topic may affect a friend, family member, or even you.  What exactly is financial avoidance?  I’ll go over some hints that may help you understand where you stand with financial avoidance. They’re all short so it should be a relatively easy read.

Hint #1 – Only looking through online accounts to find out if you have the money available to make a purchase. 

Hint #2 – Being unaware of how much your monthly payments are for your bills. Mail? What mail? I didn’t see that online statement…

Hint #3 – Most or all of your credit cards are close to/over the credit limit.  You have a lot so you keep swiping to find one that works. #SwipeAndPray

Hint #4 – Your payments go forgotten.  Either you forget they were due or you choose to ignore them.

Hint #5 – Your expenses outweigh your income.  You know this and it’s best to not look at the bills because maybe then, it won’t be real.

Hint #6 – You have no idea where you stand with your credit and credit score.  Honestly…you’re afraid to look.

Hint #7 – Overdraft and late fees are how you get by.

Hint #8 – You’re afraid of what others would think of you if they really knew what was going on.

Hint #9 – You have no idea what is going on but you tell yourself, you’re doing okay.

Hint #10 – Your spouse/partner has no idea what’s happening with your finances and you paint a very vague picture, change the subject, or start a fight to take the attention off of yourself.

Hint #11 – You tell yourself you’re going to be in debt for the rest of your life. 

Sadly, I could keep going but I’ll stop here because 11 is plenty.  Most, if not all of these hints were big a part of my life.  I ran these scripts so often that they were a part of my mental programming.  The big difference for me is I still splurged even though I didn’t know if I had the money to spend.  I sat and hoped that what I had would be enough and I wouldn’t overdraft my account or send my credit cards over the limit.   

Where does this all come from and why do we do this to ourselves?  A lot of it is tied to our upbringing.  It’s likely your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, other relatives, and friends all thought this way and it caused you to start believing the stories this thought process taught.  Maybe, you were deprived and now you want to do your best to make up for lost time.  Maybe it wasn’t a lack of money but you didn’t receive the love and affection you needed from your parents.  There are so many different reasons behind why we have the relationship we have with money. 

For me, I had a very unfortunate upbringing.  We were homeless and lived in motels for most of my childhood.  My mom had a good job but we never had money.  I didn’t have clothes when school started, we had a 2-yr shelf life on any house we lived in when we did have a house.  This really shaped me into an extremely insecure teenager who, turned into an extremely insecure adult deep into my 20’s.  When I did become an adult, I thought keeping a roof over my head was enough and that made me different.  It didn’t.  I kept running the same scripts in my head for years.  It took a lot of healing and growth on my part to even acknowledge that I struggled financially.

You have to know where you came from in order to improve where you’re going.

I have an assignment for you all: 

Write down what you were told about money as a child and adult.  Then, compare that to what you currently believe about money.  Most importantly…don’t lie to yourself.  If it’s in your head, it’s how you feel.  If needed, reorganize your thoughts and let them paint a picture to help you understand how you really feel.  This isn’t graded but it might guide you along with your journey. 

If you don’t do it now, I hope this information will help you come to terms with your thoughts later.  But I appreciate your reading!

Know that you are above your circumstances both past and present.

Pro-Makeup Artist/Licensed Esthetician Tip:

As a makeup artist, we really take pride in our work and do what we can to try to make others happy.  While I love it when my clients thoroughly enjoy their looks, it’s super important to remember you MUST remove your makeup before bed.  Trust me, when I have a glorious look, a part of me dies a little when I have to wipe it all off so I wear it as long as possible.  Makeup removal before the restorative hours, (i.e. sleep) helps prevent clogged pores, redness, bumps, and blemishes.  It also helps keep debris out of your eyes.

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Until Next Time.

Photo by Will Porada on Unsplash, Photo by Paola Chaaya on Unsplash